On Friday night, EVE Radio will be hosting what is possibly the most anticipated debating event in this year’s CSM election season. Current CSM chairman and leader of the Goonswarm Federation The Mittani will lock horns with EVE News 24 media mogul Riverini. There is no love lost between the pair and EVE Radio DJ Funky Bacon might have his hands full keeping the discussion civil.

Riverini has made no secret of his desire to displace The Mittani as chairman and is promoting a platform of being a man of the people who “…exchanges ideas…” with “…a third of the total EVE Online subscription base.” His opening statement in the Jita Park Speakers Corner thread cites his main interest is “…to ensure a constant growth of the Eve Online player-base.” His claims that he is “…one of the most polarizing figures in EVE Online.” will undoubtedly be put to the test during the debate.

Conversely, The Mittani, confident of having the voting clout to secure chairmanship again this year, has oft stated he only represents “his constituents” and goes as far as listing the kind of people he doesn’t want voting for him. Irrespective of his trademark arrogance, The Mittani will be comfortable in the knowledge of a job well done this year and will likely be planning to simply give Riverini enough rope to hang himself.

In any case, it’s certain to be a very entertaining show and in order to celebrate such a momentous event, I invite you to join me in having a drink or two whilst listening. I suggest a plentiful supply of your alcoholic beverage of choice (although given the Mittani/Riverini connection, it really should be Martinis, perhaps with a dash of Tequila*) and strict adherence to the following rules.

The “Mitterini” Debate Drinking Game

1. Firstly, get your drinks prepped. Freebooted recommends the “Mitterini” (Tequila Martini).

The “Mitterini” (Tequila Martini) – A Terrible Drink for Terrible People

  • 60ml (2 oz) of your favourite tequila
  • 5ml (1/8 oz) dry vermouth
  • 1 green olive
  • Ice and a slice

“Mitterini” Directions

  • Pour the tequila and dry vermouth into a cocktail shaker.
  • Add ice.
  • Shake like a maraca.
  • Strain and pour into a frosted martini glass.
  • Add olives and decorate by placing a twist of lemon peel on the rim of the glass.

(Alternatively, throw arbitrary quantities of all ingredients in a large glass and get on with it.)

The resulting flavour collision combines the sharp bitterness of The Mittani’s Martini narcissism with the incomprehensible South American zing of Riverini’s Tequila. It could be described as an “honest” flavour, perhaps the only thing in this debate that could make that claim. At least the “Mitterini” doesn’t pretend to be on your side.

2. Open your browser to EVE Radio on Friday evening and await Funky Bacon’s show at Midnight GMT (1900 EST).

3. Listen carefully to the debate and take a finger/sip/gulp of your beverage whenever The Mittani says any of the following Mittenisms:

“Sucking chest wound.”
“Farms and fields.”
“Death to supercaps.”
“Twisting the knife.”
“Ducks in a row.”
“A bad game.”
“EVE-Born/Community-Born” (x2 penalty)
“Go kill yourself.” (x2 penalty)

Additional rules: If Mittens isn’t getting you drunk enough, proceed to level two and also take a drink if anyone says the following:

“EVE News 24.”
“Eighteen months.”
“Tinfoil hat.”

Down your drink if anyone cries, rages or drops from the call.

If you vomit at any point, send me as much ISK as you need to make the nausea go away.

Thanks to Hans Jagerblitzen, Druur Monakh, Mynxee, Ender Black, Bagehi and Jade for their contributions.

I’m not familiar with any of Funky Bacon’s or Riverini’s catchphrases so if anyone has any more good suggestions, please let me know in the comments below and I’ll add them in.

I look forward to drinking with you on Friday.

Epilogue (Three Days Later)

Fools, they know not what they drink.

The debate was had and I thoroughly enjoyed listening to the first hour before descending into a drunken stupor and talking rambling nonsense with my brother in-law. Only now, three days later am I capable of writing again.

It turns out the “Mitterini” is a disgusting drink that destroys lives, or as Mittens might say “It’s a terrible drink for terrible people.” In any case, I lost an entire weekend because of it. I am now fearful I may not survive Fanfest.

An entire Mitterini being downed as a result of Riverini’s “Haiku”.

Nonetheless, if ever you get the idiotic need to destroy your liver by playing this drinking game again, here is the Soundcloud release of the entire interview. Remember: drink responsibly (or stay close to a bucket).


NoizyGamer · 01/03/2012 at 14:49

I remember listening to FunkyBacon interview Dianabolic and The Mittani at the time BoB was dissolved. He didn't do too bad then. I listened to riverini on the Lost in Eve podcast and riverini is no Dianabolic, so Funky should be fine.

So will you be drunk blogging the debate? It's a quaint American blogging tradition that I think you might have fun with.

Seismic Stan · 01/03/2012 at 14:57

Heh, I may drunk tweet. How does one drunk blog?

NoizyGamer · 01/03/2012 at 15:00

Drunk blogging involves making a post and making comments about what you hear. Sometimes witty, sometimes inciteful. It really depends on the blogger and his alcohol tolerance and his feelings towards the participants of the debate.

For an example, you can search on "vodkapundit drunk blog". He's kind of famous for it.

Roman · 01/03/2012 at 17:30

I'm looking forward to this.
Nice opening pic, too!

Two step · 02/03/2012 at 19:33

You should drink every time you can't understand what Riverini is saying.

Anonymous · 03/03/2012 at 01:55

Two step, I don't want to get alcohol poisoning. How about you drink every time someone heaves a dramatic sigh?

R Aventine · 03/03/2012 at 03:11

I feel I let the side down by not drinking.

Actually found myself rooting for Riverini just because he was the little guy going up against the big slick lawyer, in a debate that wasn't in his native tongue.

Comments are closed.