Sound cast in the pod,
With spaceships they Fly Reckless,
Your verse is their need.

Fly Reckless is EVE Online’s senior podcast. Founded in 2008 by Silicon Buddha and releasing their pilot episode in June that year, the show has had a long and colourful history of discussing all things EVE. Now helmed by Connall Tara, Priest Kristoph and Tumbles Goodness (with former host Chad providing technical support) they recently released their 80th episode,  My esteemed Tech 4 News co-creator Angus McDecoy was also formerly amongst their number, but has sadly now retired to fulfil his secret dream of yoghurt sculpture.

Over the next couple of weeks, the Fly Reckless boys are running a gloriously bizarre competition to give away a Dramiel and a T2-rigged Guardian. This competition, which they’ve invited me to help judge, requires entrants to submit an EVE-themed “haiku”.

Say what?

Don’t worry, I had to look it up too. It seems a haiku is essentially an ancient Japanese tweet. It is a form of short poetry that has been adapted to the English language which, in simplified terms, requires three lines of five, seven and five syllables respectively. For the purists, there are lots of other technical considerations, but I wouldn’t worry too much, I think funny is more of a match-winner than strict adherence to ancient poetic traditions – besides, I don’t think internet spaceships were a consideration when the Nipponese started waxing lyrical about falling autumn leaves and the importance of the rice harvest.

However, for the purists and smart-arses, the general principle is that the haiku is concerned with sensory perception, commonly of the seasons, and should contain a contrast or comparison separated by a “kire” cutting word. More information can be found on this Wikipedia page or this haiku writing guide. But like I said, funny internet spaceship stuff in a 5-7-5 format will be easier.

Here’s a couple of hastily written examples:

The game design curse:
Players yearn for progress, 
Yet rage against change.

Quietly mining…
All your base are belong to us!
Hulkageddon strikes.

Submissions should be sent to an in-game character by the name of BoB Reckless and the best/worst/funniest will be read out on a future episode of Fly Reckless.

I look forward to, yet dread the experience.