Posts relating to life, the multiverse and anything.
Michael was my nephew. He was 15 when he died last year after six years of illness, treatment, and isolation. So when it comes to coping strategies for medical incarceration, he was a pro. Even before he was ill, we always enjoyed playing games together. I wish he was here Read more…
When my nephew died last year, a few weeks after his fifteenth birthday, the resulting emotional storm of torment, frustration and regret was impossible to process. Oddly, like a storm, there was a strange peace to be found at the centre of it all. For me, it was having purpose Read more…
I’d like to think that I’m not a coward, but the school run fills me with dread. Perhaps I’m overstating my reaction, sometimes it’s just mild trepidation with a smattering of frustration. Or general indifference with a dash of bemusement. I think it’s a matter of timing, and perhaps also Read more…
Internet culture is a fascinating, terrifying, distorted reflection of human behaviour. Social media is a House of Mirrors which warps context, subverts emphasis and provokes opinion. I’ve learned from experience that emotionally investing in online interactions is a hazardous pastime which can lead to dark places. It can also be Read more…
My compulsion to stay working within the NHS is largely driven by guilt. As a healthcare professional, nothing I have experienced in the last decade under a Conservative government gives me much hope that things are going to improve in urgent and emergency care any time soon, but I can’t Read more…
Dear all, As any of you who followed my teenage nephew’s brief, tragic foray into the Elite Dangerous community starlight likely already know, Michael (aka CMDR Michael Holyland) died on 22nd May 2019. His funeral service and cremation was on 7th June at which I gave two eulogies to remember Read more…
I thought being a paramedic would help me cope with my parents’ deaths. Or even prevent them. I was wrong. Allow me to explain. When I first applied to Beds & Herts Ambulance & Paramedic Service in 2000, it was a partly a decision borne of a kind of naive, Read more…
‘Writing is its own reward,’ is a misquote of the little-known actor who played Feyd-Rautha in David Lynch’s 1984 sci-fi epic, Dune. He may also be known for other deeds, mostly tantric sex and naming himself after Bilbo Baggins’ sword. Its unclear if those last two activities are related. The laboured Read more…